


I Love You So Much (It's Hairy)

by allmilhouse



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Drugged Sex, Friends With Benefits, Halloween, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-25 07:02:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13828983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: “Hmm. That’s not super healthy, Bob, but you do have a point.” Teddy closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. “You do want this? You won’t regret it in the morning?”“The only thing I’ll regret is not making a move on my sexy nurse.” Bob tried winking, but with his pants mid-thigh and his leg in a brace, it wasn’t exactly the suave picture he intended.Set during s8e3 The Wolf of Wharf Street, while Bob's laid up with his injured knee and Teddy's looking after him.





	I Love You So Much (It's Hairy)

**Author's Note:**

> This episode is such a good Bob/Teddy episode...but I forgot Bob's on painkillers the whole time. So that's why I used the drugged sex tag and like, I mean don't think it's non-con, but still. At this point, I imagine they kind of have a friends with benefits type relationship anyway. Title comes from the Boys 4 Now song "I Love You Much (It's Scary)"

“So you’ve read the whole series?” Bob asked incredulously, looking down the couch at his guest for the evening, his best friend Teddy. “They published more than one Bosom Bloodies book, and you’ve ready them all?”

“Yeah,” Teddy replied enthusiastically. “I went through a real horror phase when I was younger. Not anymore though. They started to scare the hell out of me.

Bob glanced back at the TV, where a scantily-clad woman was outrunning a poorly costumed monster. He smiled despite himself, always amused by Teddy’s foolishness. He was also feeling a little lightheaded from the pain medication he was taking for his injured knee. That was the main reason Teddy was over that night. Bob assumed a single guy like Teddy would probably have better Halloween plans than playing nursemaid to his injured friend but apparently not. He even had a costume for the occasion.

Still smiling, Bob turned his attention back to Teddy. “Well, you make a sexier nurse than that one on TV.”

“Aw, you really think so?” Teddy asked, blushing.

“Yeah. Your, uh, breasts are bigger, for sure.” Bob trailed off, a little awkward. Linda had pointed out how nice Teddy looked in his nurses’ dress, and Bob was unable to get that thought out of his mind. And here they were, together on the couch, apartment to themselves, and Bob was suddenly feeling like a teenager again.

But with a banged up leg, Bob wouldn’t be able to make the first move himself. So he kept concentrating on Teddy, hoping the other man would finally look over and notice the look of longing on Bob’s face.

It was another two minutes before Teddy finally got the hint. Bob chucked the remote at him which accidentally hit the mute button, and Teddy looked over in surprise to see Bob taking off his shirt.

“Oh. Going topless, I see.”

“Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to join me?” Bob asked, his voice low and gravelly.

“Well, it’s kind of a one piece. I can’t really take the top part off without-” Teddy was cut off by Bob grabbing him by the collar and pulling him in for a kiss. He was surprised by Bob’s strength, but also the the tenderness of the kiss. Most times they had kissed before, it had been more passionate and sloppy, but this was patient and inviting.

Teddy got his arms on either side of Bob to hold himself up, and leaned in closer, nuzzling their cheeks together. Bob giggled from the ticklish whiskers, before taking Teddy’s head in his hands and bringing him back in for another kiss. His arms moved to Teddy’s shoulders, keeping him in place as he slipped his tongue in. The angle was a little off, with Bob having to keep his leg propped up on the coffee table, but they kept on undeterred, making out on the couch like a couple of teens in a bad horror movie.

“You sure you don’t want me to hold your penis Bob?” Teddy asked with a twinkle in his eye, when they stopped for air.

“Oh my god,” Bob groaned, “yes please, Teddy!”

Always the dutiful nurse, Teddy carefully pulled down Bob’s sweatpants, careful not to jostle his bad leg. Luckily he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“It’s too hard, getting it over the knee,” Bob explained at Teddy’s questioning look.

“Makes sense. Are you sure you don’t want me to get a spatula or anything before-”

“Dammit Teddy!”

At the sound of Bob’s outburst, Teddy got a move on. He used one hand to give a few experimental tugs, while the other traced a path across Bob’s chest. Bob sighed in relief at the touch, his head sinking back into the couch cushions. He was already pretty hard just from fooling around on the couch, something he’d normally be self-conscious about, but the pills were really mellowing him out.

That thought occurred to Teddy, followed immediately by the realization that Bob was high. He pulled back his hands in worry, and Bob gave a squeak at the loss of contact.

“Bobby, we can’t do this.”

“What? Teddy, no, please don’t stop on me. I’m so close.” He voice sounded pathetic and full of need.

Teddy sighed. It was hard being such a sexy nurse. “You’re on pain pills. I can’t take advantage of a patient on meds, Bob!”

“Linda specifically asked you to hold my penis, Teddy!” Bob knew he was getting worked up, and took a deep breath to calm himself. “Besides, it’s not like it’s the first time we’ve done this. It’s not even the first time we’ve done this not-sober. Remember New Years? Because I don’t.”

“Hmm. That’s not super healthy, Bob, but you do have a point.” Teddy closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. “You do want this? You won’t regret it in the morning?”

“The only thing I’ll regret is not making a move on my sexy nurse.” Bob tried winking, but with his pants mid-thigh and his leg in a brace, it wasn’t exactly the suave picture he intended. Nonetheless Teddy found it enthralling. He leaned in again to kiss Bob, his hand resuming his pace. He placed his other hand on Bob’s chest for balance, and felt his pulse quicken.

“You weren’t kidding- you must be close,” Teddy murmured as he trailed down to cover Bob’s neck in kisses. Bob just groaned in reply. It was no secret he loved Teddy’s big hands, and it never took very long for Teddy to stroke him into bliss. He came mostly into those hands, spilling a bit on his own chest.

Teddy got up to fetch a towel, and wiped his patient down clean, pulling his pants back up and retrieving the shirt off the floor. He helped Bob get dressed, while Bob looked puzzled.

“You don’t want me to, uh, return the favor?” he asked, still breathing a little heavily

Teddy shook his head, gesturing to his distractingly smooth legs. “These tights are a nightmare to get back on. Maybe next time?”

“It’s a date!” Bob promised, settling back into the couch. He picked up the remote and turned the sound back up, just in time for the news update on the Wolf.

He glanced over at Teddy, and motioned for him to come closer. They snuggled on the couch as the newscaster came onscreen. He sighed in contentment, as his gaze fell down upon Teddy’s hairy arm.

“Hey, what’s that mark on your arm?”


End file.
